happy birthday, nur syafiqa!~

rihanna - cry

[Verse 1]
I'm not the type to get my heart broken,
I'm not the type to get upset and cry,
'Cause I never leave my heart open,
Never hurts me to say goodbye,
Relationships don't get deep to me,
Never got the whole in love thing,
And someone can say they love me truely,
But at the time it didn't mean a thing.

[Hook]
My mind is gone,
I'm spinnin' round,
And deep inside,
My tears I'll drown,
I'm losin' grip,
What's happenin'?
I stray from love,
This is how I feel.

[Chorus]
This time was different,
Felt like I was just a victim,
And it cut me like a knife,
When you walked out of my life,
Now I'm in this condition,
And I've got all the symptoms,
Of a girl with a broken heart,
But no matter what you'll never see me cry.

[Verse 2]
Did it happen when we first kissed?
'Cause it's hurtin' me to let it go,
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time,
And I know that it's no more,
I shoulda never let you hold me baby,
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart,
I didn't give to you on purpose,
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart.

[Bridge]How did I get here with you I'll never know,
I never meant to let it get so personal,
And After all I tried to do,
Stay away from lovin' you,
I'm broken hearted,
I can't let you know,
And I won't let it show,
You won't see me cry.



dis song really explain wuts inside my heart ryt now.

under any circumstances.

traumatized.

seriously.

homesick~

home.

it's just sum place yang kite rase tenang and aman. seronok dengan family. berguurau. berbual. baring2. lepak anak beranak. hepi sgt. for me, balik umah ialah satu perkare yang sgt ditunggu2 setiap weekend. balik umah tak tgk tv sgt la. balik umah pade aku ialah bermesra2 dgn family. makan together. tlg mami masak. sakat adek sampai menanges. lepak kat branda berbual ngan akas n kak rini. lanyak katil mami dedi walaupon mami baru kemas katil. n makan roti prata tampal pagi2. seumor idop aku, aku jarang ade peluang lepak kat umah kecuali waktu cuti sem lepas aku da besar nie. paling lame pon, waktu lepas spm dulu. tapi 2bln stgh jek kot. pastu kene masok matriks da. tak penah dapat mende yang dapat dok kat umah, makan pakai tonggang terbalik kat umah. jadi aku mmg da rancang, dis coming IT, aku nak buat kat umah. lepak2 kat umah. apply tm yang dekat jb. supaye 3bln aku dapat dok abehkan beras mami.
aku rase aku homesick la skrg~

.wud i've been thinking for the whole weekend.

how izzit feel when you think you're not yourself anymore?

how you pretend to be happy front of ppl just to hide all the things dat are happening to you.

try to be normal when you know nothing will be as before.

you can't run from the fact that you are going to your own doom and no one there to lessen your burden and wipe your tears.

cry all the way but the load is still there.

cannot run and cannot hide away from everything.

you wish sumone wud listen to you and understand how you feel but when you turn your head around to find even one single soul, you realised dat you're alone there.

fight the tears back.

suck the heartache.

hide all the pain away.

when you finally want to put a stop to it, you are torn between yourself and the ppl you loved the most.

your heart.

his heart.

their hearts.

you choose to broke your own heart because sumthing tells you that no matter what happen, this mistake will definitely tattooed for life.

suddenly you realised, you dun have a heart to break as it has long been gone since your first tear fell.

no heart to break.

you got to do sumthing to make dis go away.

to save his heart, their heart.

dun have anything to offer summore.

no future.

no smile.

nothing.

just dis.

::cure of the ache::

::sya::

haha!~

ini ade satu joke yang aku rase sgt2 kelakar.. hehe..


pada suatu hari, terdapat seorg isteri yang sedang mengandung kembar tige. tengah2 rilek2 ngan suaminye kat ruang tamu, anak3nye menendang2 dalam perot.

kat dalam perot ...

anak pertama kate : da besar nanti abang long nak jadi pegawai TNB sebab perot mama gelap sangat.

anak kedua plak kate : da besar nanti abang ngah plak nak jadik pegawai JBA sebab perot mama byk sgt air.

anak ketiga plak : adik da besar nanti nak jadik polis sebab nak siassat budak botak mane yang selalu kacau kite malam2. pastu main ludah2 plak kat kite.


hahahahahahahaha...

sensitive issues. tapi aku nak cakap gak~

da due ari asek bace pasal nazi and the holocaust happened during world war two. the unjustice happened to the Jews is really touching. i mean, the Jews is bxxxsat in sum kind of way. tapi, m against all kind of violence in dis world. when i read all this thing about throwing babies by the legs violently to mass murders by using gas chambers in Auscwitz, i feel dat what a blessed dat i was born a Malaysian. Jews are hated by many kaum kat dalam dunie nie. i dunno how to feel about them actually. nak rase kesian ke padan muke. macam bukan sume yahudi nie jahat. bukan sume org Jerman tuh Hitler. bukan sume americans tuh Bush. kan?

tapi bile dipikir2 kan. kesian lagi bangse palestine yang tgh terseksa kat tanah air sendiri sbb ditindas oleh Jews zaman sekarang. takkan la dorg nie tak belajar dari ape yang terjadik dulu pade dorg. tak abes2 dgn keganasan. VIOLENCE! tak terpikir ke ape yang jadik kat dorg dulu tuh dorg buat balik kat org. aku tau bukan sume kat israel bxxxsat tuh merase holocaust, tapi dorg nie tak serik ke? i mean, kalau aku penah rase bagaimane terseksanye terpisah dari mak ayah, adek beradek, kematian keluarge, being a refugee kat negare sendiri, kene pukul and torture, dan segale jenis penindasan, aku tak nak org lain rase ape yang kiter rase. kalau Jews nie pikir ape yang aku pikir nie, aku konfem sume jenis kejahatan yang ade kat dunie nie tak terjadik nye. sumhow aku rase betape bxxxsatnye and betape bodohnye si yahudi nie tak berpikir ape yang dibuat tuh, aku rase dorgla punce kejahatan kat dalam muke bumi nie.

aku tak bermaksud untuk menimbulkan spekulasi terhadap mende yang sudah kontroversi. macam aku kate, bukan sume americans itu Bush. tapi it's just an expression of mind yang aku rase sume org patut bagi. after all, m one of the warge planet bumi and patut involve. lagipula, aku rase keganasan kat planet nie da macam byk sgt.

bukan kat luar negare jek. tapi kat dalam malaysia pon. sume nak ikot Jews bxxxsat. aku kate die bxxxsat sbb ape yang die buat kat palestine. aku tak tau korg bersetuju ngan aku ke tak. tapi kat bawah masjid al-aqsa tuh aku rase tak de nye harte yang diorg bajet tuh. aku penah terbace pasal nie. pasal temple of solomon. nanti len kali aku terangkan kat korg ape die jada tuh. dorg sebenarnye saje nak nyusahkan umat Islam kat palestine tuh dengan tak bagi dorg amek masjid al-aqsa. tak tau yang Islam itu lebih kukuh dari segalenye.

m sooo wasted!~

1. What did your last text message say?
* dun remember. i've deleted my outbox dy.

WHO WAS YOUR LAST

2. Person you hung out with?
* yaya

3. Rode in a car with?
* ain

4. Went to the movies with?
* wawa

5. Went to the mall with?
* ain

6. You talked on the phone with?
* kak rini.

7. Made you laugh?
* a blog.

8. Last person you told and/or theytold you they loved you?
* faishal.

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R.

1. pierce your nose or tongue?
* neither

2. Be serious or be funny?
* depends

3. Drink whole or skim milk?
* whole. i think.

4. Die in a fire or get shot?
* shot! cepat sket mati

5. Spend time with your parents or enemies?
* apekah? sudah terang lagi bersuluh!~

A N S W E R . T R U T H F U L L Y.

1. Do you love anyone?
* yup.

2. Sun or moon?
* moon

3. Winter or Autumn?
* winter.

4. left or right?
* right.

5. 10 acquaintances or two bestfriends?
* 2 best frens

6. Sunny or rainy?
* rainy

A B O U T . Y O U

1. Age:
* 20

2. Where do you live?
* pg jhr

3. How many kids do you WANT?
* 4 mostly. 2boys and 2girls.

4. Do you want to get married?
* yeah.

5. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cutit?
* twirl it. seems to be a more creative way to eat it.

6. Have you ever eaten spam?
* hah?

7. How many kinds of cereal are inyour cabinet?
* none. da makan abeh. and the only cereal dat i bought ponn is snow flakes.

8. Do you cook?
* yeah.of course!

9. Current mood?
* can't wait for tomorrow to come.

I N . T H E . L A S T .60 H O U R S . H A V E . Y O U.

1.kissed someone?
* yup.

2. Been hugged?
* yup.

3. Felt stupid?
* nope.

4. Missed someone?
* yup. all the tym actually.

5. Danced Crazy?
* nope.

6. Gotten your hair cut?
* nope.

7. Cried?
* nope

. S T U F F .

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
* nope.

2. Do you have a dog?
* nope. najis mughalazah.

3. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
* it's the same. with or without. as long as my sleep is undisturb.

4. Do you believe in ghosts?
* i gez.

5. Do you consider yourself creative?
* i consider myself perfectly fxxked up.

too good to be true~

1. Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
~at home. hopefully.

2. What are you doing on Friday?
~tadi ek? let see. woke up around 12sumthing. then ate maggi. watch persona non grata. went to class. balik singgah ps bli topup and sum fud for my oral obsession. ngadap laptop sampai skrg. huhu~

3. Did the last kiss mean anything to you?
~yup. love him~

4. Do you sleep with the TV on?
~tak penah kot. save electricity.

5. What are you doing right now?
~nothing really. ngadap blog jek la.

6. What do you think of the last person who sent you a comment on frenster?
~who was it ek? owh. joyce. she mean a lot to me. seriously. my living diary and my shoulder to cry on.

7. Name what you're doing/did today?
~see question 2.

8. Do you have a job?
~yup. part timer kat minimart. and full time student and lover.

9. Are you dating the last person you kissed?
~yup.

10. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
~nope.

12. Have you ever crawled through a window?
~what for??

13. Who knows a secret or 2 about you?
~possibly - my man, joyce and kakrini.

14. Can you handle the truth?
~yup. m tough.

15. Are you too forgiving?
~depends.

16. Ever have a sleepover with the opposite sex?
~lemme see.....

17. Olive Garden?
~huh??

18. Are you closer to your mother or father?
~my mom.

19. Have you ever wanted to be ateacher?
~yup. waktu tak cukup akal lagi.

21. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
~no

22. Have your friends ever seen you cry?
~m a girl. d-uh~

23. Who was the last person you cried infront of?
~haven't cry infront of ppl for a long tym now. the tears is between me and god.

24. Have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone
~without no reason? no.

25. How many people can you say you've really loved, more then a friend?
~minus my family, i gez just one. m a one man player.

26. Do you eat healthy?
~dun really care.

28. What are you listening to?
~ryt now? lose control by jLo.

29. If you could pick one person to disappear from the planet with, who would it be?
~none. i wud prefer to disappear alone.

30. Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
~yup.

31. How often do you go to church?
~never

32: Speaking of church are you going to heaven or hell?
~heaven!!

33: If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?
~my mom.

35: Are you confident?
~depends

36: Are you a good driver?
~nope. have to admit dat. m not confident enuff to drive up the open road.

37.What will you be when you "Grow up"?
~a very inspiring engineer and rich too.

39.One person you're sure you'll spend your life with?
~the irritating me

40. One person you miss?
~faishal.

Gagagugu~~

29february datang hanye 4thn skali jek. secare saintifiknye, ari nie wujud sbb nak mengparallelkan mase kat bumi nie. ini adalah kerane bumi kite yang tersayang nie berputar kat orbitnye keliling matahari dengan mengambil mase 365hari 6jam. jadik, jam yang 6jam tuh terkumpul la sebanyak 24jam bile da 4thn. sbb tuh la. korg rase tak hebat gile matsaleh bley pikir nak tambah satu hari kat kalender sbb fenomena nie. aku tak tau la org greek ke, matsaleh ke, cine ke yang pandai2 suke ati mak apak die nambah ari tapi aku respek la org yang buat tuh. sbb aku rase cam terkagum dgn org tuh. banyak nak dikaji kalau nak buat tuh. haha.

neways, pade ari 29feb nie ade due kawan aku yang sambut bday die. satu kawan aku waktu skola rendah dulu. name die ayu. skarg die scholar pnb. satu lagi soong. kawan aku waktu kat skola menengah. ntah ape die buat skrg tak dela aku tau. tapi mak apak si apek nie da tukar siap2 bday die kat dalam bday cert kepada 1mac. kire die nak selamatkan anak die dari jadik mangse depression tak dapat adiah bday tetiap taun kot. mungkin juge. aku ponn tak wish dorg hepi bday. sbb aku malas. dorg tak wish aku pon. (kiasu ke aku nie?) hah! lagipon memang aku malas pon.

tapi mak apak aku kate, kalau kite tak buat nanti tak de org nak buat kat kite. maksudnye buat baik dibalas dengan baik la. ye ke? agaknye la. aku pon tak tau. macam org2 tue slalu kate, kalau tak gie umah org kawen, nanti kite kawen tak de org nak dtg. bley caye ke tuh. sekarang mane ade org yang tak nak makan free kan? agakla.

owh satu perkare yang sedang hangat kat seluroh pelosok tanah air aku yang indah dan permai nie adelah ke'hot'an kempen pilihanraye. sume sgale jenis party tampal poster kat sekitar bukit beruang nie. aku tgk kat jb tak de pon perang2 poster yang bapak gile sgt pon. mungkin pihak berkenaan da mmg rase die bley menang mudah kat kawasan johor tuh. berbeze ngan kat sini. pening kepale aku tgk poster muke2 pemimpin ditampal dimerate2. rase macam kalau aku kumpul sume poster tuh, aku bley buat buku yang lagi tebal dari buku yang aku potostat kat minimart ari tuh. tapi dorg nie btol2 ke nak jadik wakil rakyat yang berkhidmat pade rakyat? jangan angat2 chicken shyt sudey le......

ding dong~

god knows wut m feeling ryt now. just now bersiar2 di internet. skali terserempak dgn satu blog yang sangat menarek dan penoh dgn mende2 menarek. menaikkan semangat aku utk mengupdate my blog daily. so here goes.

:: layout yang sgt lain dari dulu. dunno if yang dulu lagi menarik or yang skarg. yang pasti berbeza. tuka angin yang tak berape berangin. n by looking at sum of the blog yang menarek, i must say dat i'll try to make dis blog last as long as it cud and as interesting as i cud. seriously. maybe dis blog nye layout tak secanggih sum ppl. but seket2 lame2 jadik bukit. maybe akan ditambah sket2 link ke. or sket2 pictures ke. tgk ar camne.

:: idea yang dtg mungkin akan diperbykkan lagi. lagiponn korg tau jek la. bile da jarang buat karangan and essay jadik minda aku nie agak lembam dan lembab sket. kalau dulu, u can gv me 30mnt to create one story line yang penoh dengan aksi2 menarek dan menghiburkan, but now hanyalah picissan yang agak menghampekan aku sendiri bile membacenye. i mean, the more we grow old the more un-creative we become kot?

therefore, i dun care. dis is my resolution. altho aku tak de reso ponn taun nie sbb masalah bodo yang ditimbulkan oleh diri sendiri yang tak bertanggungjawab nie, maka nie la projek aku utk ... forever kot? MENGHASILKAN BLOG YANG PENOH DENGAN EKSPRESI DIRI AKU.

may it's not indah kabar dari rupe. jgn cakap je yang berapi sudah. HOH!