dimane bumi dipijak..

m so selfishly mintak duit to my dad td.. i know.. like faishal said.. wutever it is.. m still bwh tggungan my parents.. but.. tak sampai ati rasenye nak mintak duit.. altho dlm beg duit aku ade 6igt jek skrg.. rase guilty gile.. hmm...

aku mau - once

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apapun terjadi.. ku janjikan aku ada..

dear bloggie..

tomorrow is 18th.. the day i've been waiting for.. i hope its a gud day.. and i hope tomorrow wud be the best day of his life.. i wanna make everything gud and nice.. without any flaws.. hehe...

..berdua jalani cerita..

dear bloggie..

tomorrow wud be his bday.. tak tau nak buat ape.. maybe i will cl him and dats all.. neways i have bought tickets to dewa 19 concert for him.. for his bday.. he likes it so much.. screaming at workshop smalam bile i told him.. hehehe.. neways.. he's already 3months old.. so m planning to have him gone by the end of dis months.. bfore final xm.. dun want to bring him home during holidays.. and i wud even miss faishal dis few days.. sgt2.. to the xtream.. tak tau nape.. owh.. can't wait for 18th dec to come..

..heartbeat..

dearest bloggie,

so many things happened during dis 2months.. and none of it within my intention.. things jz got pretty serious between me and him lately.. although we are together.. but there are parts of his life where i think he dun want me in it.. i thought of it and i will give him space that he needed.. i know that he loves me as much as i do.. dats all dat matters.. we still not each other's.. so i gez i wuden want to stop him from anything.. if he wants to leave me.. i will let him.. ade jodoh.. adelah.. kan? maybe m not the best of him.. well everyone wants the best for themselves.. but for now.. he IS the best for me.. and i hope i do for him.. we haven't been a year old yet.. so i think there are things that yet to come.. if we are strong and meant for each other.. i gez there'll be no problem at all.. and for sure.. dis few weeks has been miserable for me.. but as soon as i hear his heartbeat.. i feel paradise.. i feel dat faishal is a part of me now.. ....

..thru the difficulties of life..

my heart break to see him sad.. it's like thousands of splinters penetrate thru me.. i dun think i can stand another humiliation like this.. i need to get beside him.. to stand wif him.. he is going thru one difficult phase.. i know that he is sad.. deep down him.. i want him to know that i will love him no matter what happens.. come hell or high water.. but to see his smile fading away is like watching sumbody die.. o mighty god.. may you help him to become stronger.. may our love will never die.. may we become forever..


dear,
i'll be your shoulder..
thru bitter and sweet..
as long as god permits..
amin..

nervous breakdown.

i never been so much lonely in my whole life. they said stupid people get involve in stupid things. am i a fool? for letting those whom i love the most hurt me. so badly dat i think i want to run away. far away from this place. maybe m being paranoid. maybe i am. but the feelings keep getting worse. smile dat almost faded. voice dat almost faint. i wish i cud dissapear to the thin air. before i lost myself.

how i wish.