long tym no see

it's been a while since i updated my blog. got problem with my comp actually. cant online as well. neways. everything about my life has already changed. m now a completely different person. nothing about me is the same now. literally. funny thing about life is u might think dat u get everything on its place when its really not. my life is so dysfunctional ryt now. like i have the tool but cannot use it. really.

but wutever it is, i now have aim in life. not a wanderer nemore. and i pray hard, very, ver, very, very hard dat m gonna get wut i aim for. thing is, m so goddamn scare if i lose them. both the person i love the most in this whole wide world. m scare i'll never see them again. 3yers is really a long tym to hang on. really. everything can happen in that period of tym.

....................

ya allah tuhan yang maha pengasih,

janganla Kau jauhkan aku dari matlamat hidup ku. Kau kuatkan lah hatiku. tetapkanlah diriku pada matlamatku. sesungguhnya Kau la tuhan yang maha pemurah dan maha penyayang.

Amin ya Rabbal 'alamin

happy birthday, nur syafiqa!~

rihanna - cry

[Verse 1]
I'm not the type to get my heart broken,
I'm not the type to get upset and cry,
'Cause I never leave my heart open,
Never hurts me to say goodbye,
Relationships don't get deep to me,
Never got the whole in love thing,
And someone can say they love me truely,
But at the time it didn't mean a thing.

[Hook]
My mind is gone,
I'm spinnin' round,
And deep inside,
My tears I'll drown,
I'm losin' grip,
What's happenin'?
I stray from love,
This is how I feel.

[Chorus]
This time was different,
Felt like I was just a victim,
And it cut me like a knife,
When you walked out of my life,
Now I'm in this condition,
And I've got all the symptoms,
Of a girl with a broken heart,
But no matter what you'll never see me cry.

[Verse 2]
Did it happen when we first kissed?
'Cause it's hurtin' me to let it go,
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time,
And I know that it's no more,
I shoulda never let you hold me baby,
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart,
I didn't give to you on purpose,
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart.

[Bridge]How did I get here with you I'll never know,
I never meant to let it get so personal,
And After all I tried to do,
Stay away from lovin' you,
I'm broken hearted,
I can't let you know,
And I won't let it show,
You won't see me cry.



dis song really explain wuts inside my heart ryt now.

under any circumstances.

traumatized.

seriously.

homesick~

home.

it's just sum place yang kite rase tenang and aman. seronok dengan family. berguurau. berbual. baring2. lepak anak beranak. hepi sgt. for me, balik umah ialah satu perkare yang sgt ditunggu2 setiap weekend. balik umah tak tgk tv sgt la. balik umah pade aku ialah bermesra2 dgn family. makan together. tlg mami masak. sakat adek sampai menanges. lepak kat branda berbual ngan akas n kak rini. lanyak katil mami dedi walaupon mami baru kemas katil. n makan roti prata tampal pagi2. seumor idop aku, aku jarang ade peluang lepak kat umah kecuali waktu cuti sem lepas aku da besar nie. paling lame pon, waktu lepas spm dulu. tapi 2bln stgh jek kot. pastu kene masok matriks da. tak penah dapat mende yang dapat dok kat umah, makan pakai tonggang terbalik kat umah. jadi aku mmg da rancang, dis coming IT, aku nak buat kat umah. lepak2 kat umah. apply tm yang dekat jb. supaye 3bln aku dapat dok abehkan beras mami.
aku rase aku homesick la skrg~

.wud i've been thinking for the whole weekend.

how izzit feel when you think you're not yourself anymore?

how you pretend to be happy front of ppl just to hide all the things dat are happening to you.

try to be normal when you know nothing will be as before.

you can't run from the fact that you are going to your own doom and no one there to lessen your burden and wipe your tears.

cry all the way but the load is still there.

cannot run and cannot hide away from everything.

you wish sumone wud listen to you and understand how you feel but when you turn your head around to find even one single soul, you realised dat you're alone there.

fight the tears back.

suck the heartache.

hide all the pain away.

when you finally want to put a stop to it, you are torn between yourself and the ppl you loved the most.

your heart.

his heart.

their hearts.

you choose to broke your own heart because sumthing tells you that no matter what happen, this mistake will definitely tattooed for life.

suddenly you realised, you dun have a heart to break as it has long been gone since your first tear fell.

no heart to break.

you got to do sumthing to make dis go away.

to save his heart, their heart.

dun have anything to offer summore.

no future.

no smile.

nothing.

just dis.

::cure of the ache::

::sya::

haha!~

ini ade satu joke yang aku rase sgt2 kelakar.. hehe..


pada suatu hari, terdapat seorg isteri yang sedang mengandung kembar tige. tengah2 rilek2 ngan suaminye kat ruang tamu, anak3nye menendang2 dalam perot.

kat dalam perot ...

anak pertama kate : da besar nanti abang long nak jadi pegawai TNB sebab perot mama gelap sangat.

anak kedua plak kate : da besar nanti abang ngah plak nak jadik pegawai JBA sebab perot mama byk sgt air.

anak ketiga plak : adik da besar nanti nak jadik polis sebab nak siassat budak botak mane yang selalu kacau kite malam2. pastu main ludah2 plak kat kite.


hahahahahahahaha...